My life has been a roller coaster of late. It seems as if each tiny step I’ve taken forward, an emergency of some kind has shoved me thirty steps behind. As I usually like the view of where I’m standing, I don’t often mind this. But it really pisses me off when my disappointment in my circumstances lead to an overall bitchitude around me. For a while, I felt overwhelmed by life and abandoned by hope. My children were out of control, my relationship with my family was dismal at best. I truly believed that my ship was afloat with no direction.
The one thing I thought I had working in my favor was my employment. I have a fabulous job that I genuinely enjoy. I had the respect of my peers and the active participation in my growth from my boss. But, as is life, my chaotic home life began to trickle in through the glass double doors of my job. Basically everything went to Hell in a hand basket and everything suffered. My job became something I had to do, instead of somewhere I could escape to.
Now, I’m paying for this extreme series of unfortunate events. Each time I find something to reach toward, I’m given a very polite, but firm denial. While being told no is no ones favorite thing, it sucks to no end to be told no because you screwed up by over sharing personal trials.
So instead of being discouraged, I’ve decided to suck it up. To take a piece of the advice I give so freely to others. I’m going to be exactly what is necessary to get where I need to be. It’s been said that I’m not aggressive enough, that is an easy change. I will be the exemplary product of self motivation because the next time it will be me. I will not be passed over because I’ve answered a question wrong or because someone else may have been an easier choice.
Don’t mess with an ambitious woman.