More Life Lessons??

voicesI struggled what to write in this blog because so much has happened in the last few days. I learned a few very valuable life lessons that I thought I’d share with the group so that those living vicariously through my single woman life can avoid having to live through them. Why should we all have to go through the trials and tribulations of humanity if some of us can avoid it.

Life Lesson #1
No matter how long you’ve been alive, there are things you will do or say that will shock you for doing or saying them.

I’ve led a secluded and mostly sheltered life for the last decade, most of what I’d said or done remained in the virtual world, in text, or through the phone. What I mean by that is that I would meet people online, and we’d never meet face to face. One of the men I love the most in the universe is someone that I never so much as held his hand. I wasn’t capable of having real relationships at the time, and sometimes I wonder if I am to this day.

So when I tell you that this whole series of first dates is something that I wouldn’t have done, trust and believe that its true. Meeting people, and forcing myself to “Go Anyway”, even if I think I’m going to have a boring time, has been part of this weird adventure I’m on.

Life Lesson #2
Some people will do, or say, anything to have sex with you.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I like sex as much as the next girl, but I don’t feel the need to be someone I’m not to get it. Let’s review.

phonesex“Jack” – Jack’s idea of a good time started with lowering his voice an octave and telling me all the things he wanted to do to me while on the phone. So, normally this would probably have worked, I’m not going to lie, but Jack sounded like Michael Jackson, how’s THAT for sexy?

“Randall” – Randall I didn’t meet online. I met him the old fashion way, at a bar. He waited until after my friends left and then approached me. He proceeded to tell me that I was the most beautiful woman in the place and that he wanted to spend the evening creating memories. Good right? I thought so too, lucky for me he drops the bomb he’s deploying for nine months but really, he’ll remember my name.

“Tim” – Tim is a tricky little devil. Smart, articulate, and intense. Most women will go for a certain look, I am all about the intensity of a man. Make me think i’m the only person in your universe and my panties drop faster than a groupie at an Aerosmith concert. Too bad the reason he was so intense was that he’s far too busy trying to keep the fact that he has a wife hidden.

Life Lesson #3
As a woman, I have no idea what I really want.

Pretty sure the men of the world just said a collective ‘duh’. But seriously, I always think I know what I want. I’d like to get married, and live a life unified with the man that I fell in love with as we go off on grand adventures. Simple right? But I also want someone who makes me feel things. I want someone to fix my problems while balancing my need and pride in feminism. I want someone to be my equal in all areas, unless in that moment I don’t want him to be… and him know the difference. I want to do it all, on my own, but he can help. Only if he wants though. Then five minutes later, I want him to take the burden of all my problems and send me to a spa for a month so he can fix them.

Yes world, I really am this bat shit crazy.


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