I read a Facebook post today with a debate of what FTW stands for. I found it aptly appropriate today because it can honestly stand for ‘For the Win’ or ‘Fuck the World’. That sums up my mixed emotions about dating. I included a lovely little clip of someone who wanted me to drive on base and ‘cum cuddle’ with him. I swear to you, that is what he wrote. First and foremost, anyone who writes cum in place of come is infantile and obnoxious. Let alone, why would you want to cuddle up to someone you just met?
I can’t stand grown adult men who write like 13 year old boys. I watched my son laugh and giggle until he couldn’t breathe over words that could be of a sexual nature. He’s 13 and just say the word ‘penis’ in his presence and he will spend hours regaling you with jokes he’s learned.
What grown ass man would speak like that to a woman he potentially wants to meet and/or date. I mean seriously, grow up. His profile said 37. THIRTY SEVEN. Please excuse me while I go jump off the nearest bridge and weep for my dating prospects. What the fuck people?
Oh, and I tried Tinder. I may never wash the stench of creepy ick factor that came from that app. Just the volume alone of horny, lonely, depressing men left me wondering if there was in fact date-able life after all. I have a screen shot but I won’t post it. A lovely gentleman actually decided to send me a video of how he liked his appendage to be blown. I kid you not. It’s epic, I laughed so hard, I damn near peed myself.
So, here I am, back to dating, and I have to tell you. I haven’t laughed so much in days.
PS. Though I may just have a coffee date today.